Flicker
by Mynxine
Summary: All that glitters, dies. It's a fact of life. It's like all of us saying sorry for things we aren't really regretting.' (RR)
1. Chapter One

**Flicker**   
_Written by: Mynxine_

  
Disclaimer: I don't own .hack! D: Don't sue me, all I have are poptarts!   
  
~*****~ __

You look back on things you've done and wonder what would happen if it had gone right. Everyone does. It's a part of peoples' subconscious, always believing that the grass is greener on the other side. It's probably where the phrase 'I'm sorry' came from; too many people feeling guilty for things they were destined to say. 

I'll use one of my friends as an example. Kite, a kid who's about two years older than me was invited by his friend who I only know as Orca to play The World. That's right, folks-the ever-famous Orca of the Azure Sea. Well, it turns out that Orca took his friend who at the time was a newbie to a very safe area. It was level one or two, I can never get the details right. 

But something happened there that changed both their lives. One was gifted with a bracelet, a bracelet identical to the one that put the other into a coma. The other as it has already been mentioned was put into a deep sleep, barely able to breathe for himself let alone open his eyes. 

Two lives were changed and it seemed for the worse. I think about this and wonder, what would have happened if Kite hadn't followed Orca to that field? Would he still have been granted the Twilight Bracelet? And if he still were given the infamous thing, would he even realize its destructive power? 

Everything that glitters, dies. It's a fact of life. It's like all of us saying 'I'm sorry' for things we aren't really regretting. Well, that bracelet was flashy and so was Mia; it was like having two magnets forced towards each other. One would end up victorious in over-powering the other, a battle of minds, and a battle of wits. Kite and Mia got along well enough, but that bracelet...did things. To all of us. It attracted unwanted attention, and some wanted but in Mia's case...things went to hell in the proverbial hand basket. 

But I'm getting off track, aren't I.   


~*****~ 

She regards life as a gently wicked dance; first you step one way, then the next, a pivot and a dip,all to no avail. You'll end up being dropped by your partner either way. Her tail, covered in the same violet fur as the rest of herself, flicks and dives of its own accord as she leans against a wall, grinning. 

Mia had been feeling rather odd lately. 

She couldn't remember things she did half the time. Everything was viewed through a violent haze of hacking and slashing, death and dying of other players she had lead to their doom. Ah, yes, that PK patch worked nicely...a langorious stretch, a feline growl, and she heads to the Chaos Gate to find another hapless victim. 

It was strange; she had no console, she had no VR Helmet. This world was as real as the next one, sans the name. She wasn't a mindless NPC, she wasn't a player; she was stuck in-between two choices, with a voice calling her in dreams. 

_"Wake up."_ The voice had said, as she stared out at Carmina Gadelica with all the enthusiasm she could muster,_"Wake up and live. Live for me!"_ The voice had also told her to call it 'Mother'. There was something amiss about this, but at the same time she wasn't worried. The voice-Mother had begun speaking to her only seconds after she realized that Mia realized that she wasn't really real...really. Her face contorted in confusion._ "Wake up, Macha, and do what I say. Help save me, help save yourself."_ Her name wasn't Macha...was it? 

And then, the PK patch had appeared in her item list one day, and she did the voices bidding. None of this made sense; she really should be telling someone about these strange occurrences and her realization of being...well, in-between. Mia had counseled Mother on this, and received a verbal slap in the face. 

_"You tell anyone and I'll snap your neck Macha, I'll snap your neck! You're ungrateful and you take the Bracelets side and I'll kill you as easily as that, Macha, as easily as lighting a match!"_

Macha? Again, puzzlement struck her and left her dazed. Her name wasn't Macha! But Mother told her not to worry; the memories would come back in time. 

Ah well. She headed over to two players who were glancing around the World as if just born. They might as well have been; they looked to be complete newbies. A long arm dressed in gold, male by the looks of it, and his female twin blade companion. 

Inwardly she flinched. Twin blade. Kite was a twin blade, and he controlled that...that thing. That thing that had made the voice-Mother surface, that thing that had made Elk jealous. Twin blade, twin blade, twin blade. She sauntered over and grinned at the two. 

This is her voice, coming out of her mouth but not sounding like her own: "By any chance, do you two need help?" 

They look at her; they look at her cattish appearance and decide that she must be a veteran! Such a wonderful character model, with golden eyes and long, beautiful ears and are immediately trusting of this new person. Like lambs to the slaughter they give her their Member Address and they are off, Mia, the twin blade and the long arm. 

Virtually seconds later, Mia gates in, alone and smiling. She sheathes her blade and goes back to the wall she had occupied only minutes before. She giggles to herself; bubbling laughter coming up through her ribcage and out into the streets below. She chatters to the voice called Mother in her mind and smiles, smiles, smiles. 

For only a moment does she wonder where Elk is. As quickly as the thought surfaces, it is gone, and she is back to living in her dream world within a dream world.   


~*****~ 

"I just think she's been acting odd, that's all. I'm worried about her, Kite-" 

"You'd be worried if Mia was taking on a level two monster." Kite laughed back at his timid friend. Well, no-he wasn't as timid now, but he was still spooked of many people. 

Elk blanched, stopping in mid-step and nearly dropping his staff. "I--I wouldn't be--Mia can take care of herself!" 

"Yeah, sure, you wish she could be your damsel in distress though." 

"I don't!" 

BlackRose found this sort of talk primarily disgusting. Men shouldn't boast over their crushes and wish for them to be weak little flowers who need a man to do their bidding. She looked down at her fingers, then at the large blade held in her right hand. She hefted it up and stomped angrily over to the two boys who were currently locked in what they would call a battle of wits; they had begun arguing, using only the phrases 'Do not!' and 'Do too!' "Will you two quit being idiots?" 

They both glanced over to the Heavy Blade as if suddenly realizing that yes; she was part of their party. Kite shrugged and scratched the back of his head, "Sorry, BlackRose. It's just that Elk refuses to admit that he _loves_ Mia." 

"I DON'T." 

"Do too." 

"Do not." 

"Now children..." She waggled her finger at the two like a homeroom teacher, "Let's not argue about who worships who. We have a dungeon to explore. And damned if I'll let some newbies get our treasure!" 

"But this is so much fun." Kite didn't know what had gotten into him; usually he was polite, but arguing with Elk had been entertainment at the least. Seeing his reaction, anyways. 

For a second, BlackRose scowled; then she decided to play dirty. Pouting and kicking at the ground, looking forlorn and hopeless, she piped up, "Well, I just wanted to go dungeon exploring with you Kite, what with us trying to destroy the viruses we never get any time alone, anymore..." The question was, would the red-clad twin blade take the bait? 

He took it hook, line, and sinker. "Oh, hey, BlackRose, don't get all sad!" He waved his blades around frantically. "See? We're going to the dungeon!" And dragging Elk by the arm, he was off. 

BlackRose grinned. Men made such a drama of it all. She ran after the two, virtual sunlight glinting off her giant blade as she darted behind them. 

~****~ 

_A/N: Review if you so desire! Confused yet? Things will be explained. :D Chapter 2: Things go awry as conditions in The World become more drastic. _


	2. First Interlude and Chapter Two

**Flicker**

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. I do, however, own Mockery.   
__

Interlude One: The Nowhere Kid 

"You shouldn't buy it. It will rot your brain and then where will you be?" Her mother's heavy Spanish accent gives the words individuality, a quality of life never used by the Americans. Before she learned to be ashamed of her heritage, she would have given anything to have that accent. But she is stuck with her father's accent, her fathers' looks; pale as death with a willowy East Coast accent to boot. 

As she holds the box in front of her, examining it like a priceless heirloom, her mother clucks her tongue and shakes her head like a tree in the wind. "¿Mi hija, qué yo haré con usted?" 

The girl simply smiles. "Mama, this _won't_ rot my brain." With a fingernail painted a brilliant orange she points to the name of the product: 'The World' is displayed in large bold text. Under it is an odd picture of a holographic sphere surrounded by golden runes. On the left-hand side of the box is a slightly bloody sword. "It's just a role-play game. It won't cause me any harm." 

"I still say don't buy it. You'll play it for two months and tire of this...this 'World'. You shouldn't waste your pay on such things!" 

She takes her mother's advice with a grain of salt, already heading towards the counter to purchase the game. She already has a Virtual-Reality helmet at home, her brother having bought it for her for Christmas. They had been plotting this behind their parents' backs for months now, ever since The World had reached celebrity proportions. They would share the helmet, they would share the computer, and for once they would agree to share Internet time. 

For 49 dollars and 99 cents, the girl has bought her ticket to another world, another dimension as real as the next one. Why, some say you could even feel pain in The World! She doesn't feel apprehension; it's a virtual game, as 'real' as ghosts and werewolves. The un-real couldn't hurt those who lived in the real. 

And as her mother spouts off to her in Spanish about her throwing hard-earned money away, she grins. 

~*****~ 

"I don't like it." 

The girl blinks and gazes upward from her book as her brother throws down the controller in a quiet rage. His skin was dark like her mothers, but his eyes were blue, taking away from his almost-foreign looks. She debates whether to speak up and decides for it, "What don't you like, Blake?" 

"The controls! The controls are all screwed." He runs a hand through his coal-black hair and glares at the screen as if it has insulted him. "I've died three times because of these sucky controls!" 

"Maybe you're just bad at it." At her brother's evil-eye stare she sinks back into book like quicksand. 

"Why don't you try it, then?" It's more of a command than a challenge. She sighs, drops the book like a heavy stone and stomps over to the computer console. In one swift motion she dons the VR Helmet and picks up the controller, looking down at Blake, "Okay, I will." 

~*****~ 

The first time Gating In is like something she'd never want to experience again. It was the excitement of knowing there was something new ahead, something wonderful...and there was also the apprehension of what lay beyond the log-in screen. 

She chose the name 'Mockery' partly out of spite towards Blake. She'd certainly make his time on The World look like a mockery. Even if she were a novice at Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games, she'd beat Blake or die trying. 

It turned out that she died multiple times, as she had chosen 'WaveMaster' as her class. 

The other reason behind the name was the fact that she wanted to be something different, something more than the many slack-jawed idiots who had joined The World. She wanted people to be the tiniest bit frightened of her odd infatuation towards the colors blue and gray, towards keeping behind the crowds as if because of her silent apprehension. 

She was a pale young thing, keeping to her real world appearance more than she'd like. Her hair was a bit longer, yes, but it was still black as night; her eyes glimmered a bit more but they were still their dull brown. Her garb, a gray dress with several navy-blue spirals at its edge was generally very plain; the sleeves looked like they had been cut off and tied to just above her elbows with blue ribbon. On her left shoulder was an odd half-triangle blue mark with a simple dot at its middle. 

She kept her avatar simple, but not her fighting strategy. Mockery found that if you cast a spell on a monster, ran back about two feet, cast another spell and ran back, the creature would follow you and get nixed in the process. It was a macabre monster parade, with Repth constantly being cast. In three hours she had died nine times but gained five levels out of it. 

Taking a break from the fields and parade slaughter, she sat near the murky canal of Mac Anu, noting its similarities to the famous Venice, Italy. When it came right down to it The World was just a similar copy of reality. Its blueprints, its fact and fiction were all based in the world everyone called real. It was depressing, sort of-she had purchased The World not only for her brother but also for an escape from the normalcy of reality. 

There could honestly be no difference between this world and the next. It was all how you perceived it. Mockery glanced around, saved her game, and logged off. 

Five days passed. It only took five days for The World as she would know it to come undone. 

~*****~ 

Chapter Two

_I asked Mia about her real life a lot. She didn't seem to mind telling me about herself; she was a lonely 20-something with nothing to do besides get an education and play The World. She told me that she had a hacker friend in her AP English class that had given her the patch for her illegal character skin, and that if I wanted one she could get it. I declined, though I did respect her offer. _

Mia said that she was majoring in Psychology with a minor in English. She said she loved to write, especially about her adventures in 'The World'. She never showed me any of her stories; I assumed she didn't want to be judged by her writings, so I didn't pry. Often she would say she had to write a paper for her Psych class and she wouldn't be logging on for a while. 

How could I have known that all she told me were lies? I was devoted to her, despite our age difference. She could do no wrong. 

When she started acting addle-brained, I began to doubt her life. But still, some part of me held onto the hope that a person in the real world liked me for me. 

It blind-sided me. 

~*****~ 

She wonders what it's like, this living in another world business that many players prattle on about. Mother tells her that living in two places at once is the norm for them; it's how they survive. 

_"It's like killing monsters and players for me, Macha. They have to or else they have no purpose. Without a purpose, people begin to forget...just like you did. If they didn't live in two realities they would have no means of survival."_

Somewhere in the recesses of her mind, Mia realizes that killing her fellow players is wrong. She can't explain this to Mother of course; she'd be yelled at, forced to kill more innocent lives here in her reality. Anyway, it's a vague notion at best. Mother wants her to do player kills, and who would dare speak against Mother? 

Kite would. That insolent twin blade, the one with the devil bracelet. The fur on the back of her neck stands on end and she glances around Carmina Gadelica in a panic, as if looking for him. 

_"Calm yourself Macha, calm. He is busy fighting your big brother! Your big, strong brother."_ The confidence in her voice soothes Mia though she lets out a small whimper, stepping backwards from the Chaos Gate and into the border of the bridge. _ "Peace, Macha, peace. Magus will not lose easily to our enemies."_ Though Mother seems sure of herself, Mia cannot help but feel apprehension. Something will go wrong, she isn't sure what, but something will go wrong. 

Fifteen minutes pass and then it hits her; the high-pitched scream of Mother reeling in loss. Mia winces and falls to her knees, blade clattering next to her legs as she clamps her paws up to her ears. The buildings around her slowly begin to decay, looking as if they are being eaten by the zeros and ones of binary code. And Mother sobs, and sobs. The high-pitched frequency explodes within Mia, and she feels her mind unlocking memories never meant to see the light of day again. 

She blacks out as Mother screams curses at the twin blade and his horrible friends who have killed Magus. The last thing she remembers are the screams. 

~*****~ 

_A/N: Dundundun... I know you're all wondering, 'What does Mockery have to do with any of this?' Don't worry. Her interludes will be explained. :D   
R/R! _


End file.
